This is a topic that I’ve struggled with for quite some time now. You see while I have been living with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Lyme Disease (to name a couple), I also have a great love for ALL things fashion. So what’s the big deal? Well, I’m so glad you asked.

HOW I SHOW UP VS. HOW OTHERS SHOW UP

My issue with this is in the way I show up. Most people you come across who live with some type of chronic illness may show up in lounge wear, no makeup and a comfy pair of socks. To be honest, that’s me whenever I’m at home resting. However, when it’s time to leave the house for a doctor appointment, church or one of my kids sporting events it’s hard for me to leave the house without putting forth some effort to look…good. For someone who has loved fashion for as long as I have and who has worked in the fashion industry for as long as I have, it’s hard to toss that part of me aside, even while struggling with my health.

Each day when I wake up, I thank God for another day then I lie in bed for at least an hour or more in order to a get sense of how my day will go…how I’m feeling and what I can and cannot do. Once I get my morning started I take a look at our family calendar and see if there are any appointments for the day that I need to attend. Once that’s all figured out I then think about what I am going to wear. It’s just a habit, and it’s the truth. It has been ingrained in me to care about my outward appearance when leaving the house from the time I was a young girl in North Texas. Sometimes I wonder what others think about me when I show up somewhat pulled together, I wonder if they think I’m not really sick because of my outward appearance. There’s this internal tug of war going on…do I wear makeup to cover all of the redness and swelling in my face? Should I wear my favorite jeans and graphic t-shirt along with my comfy shoes that just happens to be a luxury brand? What will people think? Do I dress down to make others ok with my condition while at the same time suppressing who I am and who God created me to be? Heck no! (You know I wanted to say something else right there)! Lol!

It has taken some time for me to get comfortable in this space. In the past I have felt bad (for lack of a better word) for pulling myself together when heading out of the house. I now know that this was all FEAR and INSECURITY! Thanks to a dear friend of mine who pointed this out to me in a loving way. She encouraged me to be myself and not concern myself with the thoughts of others. Not to be mean, but not to give any weight to the way others see me. What God says about me is what matters most and that’s what I will continue to draw courage and strength.

The Bible says in Jeremiah 1:5 ” I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart”…I love this verse because it gives me freedom to be me knowing that I am walking in who God has created me to be! I believe that God is using me and my love of fashion while in the midst of my health journey to be a living testimony that God can use the sick to minister HOPE to everyone I come in contact with. There may be someone that feels they would not be welcome in the house of God because they love luxury items and love to wear name brands. Everyone has a place in God’s family. We all deserve the space to be ALL that we created to be. If you love fashion you are who God says you are. Hold your head up high, carry that Gucci bag and get your praise on! I have to add…everything in moderation.

Here is a picture of me taken a few years ago. I love this look! I love the everything about it. I felt confident and strong, but what you can’t see is the intense pain my body is in. After this picture was taken, I went home to rest and ended up being in a Fibromyalgia flare up for over a week. But you know what? Even with that God is still good just as it says in Daniel 3:18!

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XO- Windy

And if not, He is still good!  Daniel 3:18

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