I don’t even know where to begin. The title alone intimidates me. Mainly because I’m wondering how in the world could I ever capture a day in the life of me? I may need to come at this in multiple posts I suppose, I mean this post could get quite lengthy and who has time for that? Let see how it goes and if I need to break this up over several posts I will. Let’s get started with what my mornings look like.
Every morning I wake up with so much gratitude in my heart to be allowed to see a new day. I thank God for watching over me and ask for grace to make it through the day. For the most part, once I wake up I stay in bed for at least an hour to fully wake up and to get a sense of how I’m feeling that day. This can and often does look different for me every single day. I mean, I can wake up on Monday and be in pain from head to toe, Tuesday in a lot of pain but dealing with lots of brain fog, Wednesday lots of pain and vision problems (unable to see clearly for the first hour or longer), Thursday a ton of pain along with a ton of inflammation and swelling, Friday a ton of pain with a very raspy voice, Saturday a ton of pain and stiff joints, and Sunday a ton of pain with dizziness and balance issues making it difficult for me to walk. That’s just an example of some of the symptoms I deal with. Any day can also include: (List is not all inclusive)
- Widespread pain
- Hand tremors
- Memory loss
- Brain fog
- Balance issues
- Swollen hands, face & feet
- Sole pain
- Extreme fatigue
- Vision problems
- Poor apetitie
- Rapid heartbeat (POTS)
- Migraine headache (15-20 per month)
- Rash on my face (Mold toxicity)
- Stiff joints and back
- Cognitive issues (trouble finding words)
- Rheumatoid Arthritis
It truly depends on the day…I can wake up feeling one way and by the afternoon I could feel completely different. If I’m honest, it can be quite frustrating going on this rollercoaster of symptoms every day. If I wasn’t the one going through this I wouldn’t believe it myself. It’s hard on the emotions and equally hard on my spirit. My emotions run from high to low in a matter of seconds. It’s a lot to handle even for the strongest person. When I finally get enough strength to get out of bed I stand up only to be greeted by intense pain in the soles of my feet which makes it difficult for me to walk. I also notice the stiffness in my joints and back that is so intense it can bring me to tears. I often have to hold onto the bed for the first few steps of the day. Such a humbling experience.
After stumbling to take my first steps of the day I eventually make it to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. Due to the Fibromyalgia, I face will appear swollen and puffy and my gums sensitive and sore. Normal brushing of my teeth can be so painful at times. While brushing my teeth I will notice the tremor in my right hand. This can add to an already difficult situation, but I take my time and eventually get it done. Mission accomplished! It’s at this time that I am usually worn out and feel like I need to lay back down, but first I need to take my morning meds which consists of about 8-10 pills and detox drops. It’s not easy for me to get all the medicine down, I sometimes feel nauseous while trying to get them all down. A few of them have a funny taste that it quite unpleasant. Eventually I do get them all down and grab a cup of coffee and get into my morning prayer and devotion. Once that is complete I take a look at what needs to get done around the house and make a plan for which tasks I will try and tackle. This usually looks like one room per day in small segments. It may take me a little while to pick up around the living room as I tend to get lightheaded, out of breath and tired so I have to pace myself and take as many breaks as I need to until it gets done. I have to extend grace to myself and realize that I can’t rush through things, doing so will lead to a Fibromyalgia flare up and nobody wants that. While taking a quick break I try to stay hydrated, though I must admit I don’t like water so it’s something that I have to force myself to do because I know it’s good for me. I can often be found lying on my couch or in my bed resting until about early afternoon…
Not everything on my morning to do list gets done but I have to be ok with that. At times I get upset at things that used to come easy for me that now take an hour or longer to do because of my chronic illness. It’s a constant battle between what I want to do and what I can do but somehow I make it through the morning one baby step at a time.
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And if not, He is still good! Daniel 3:18
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