Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my life before I was diagnosed with a chronic illness. I spend a good amount of time alone which has afforded me time to reflect over the last 20 years. I often wonder what my life would be like had I not gone to the doctor all those years ago in an effort to get to the root cause for being so sick and for so long. I mean, what if I would have ignored the debilitating symptoms and kept on pushing…where would my life be now?

WHAT DO I MISS THE MOST?

A few months ago someone asked me what aspect(s) of my life from before do I miss the most? Honestly I had not taken the time to consider that prior to getting this question, but I’ve had some time to think about and here’s what I’ve come up with:

• Having a job
• Freedom to come and go as I please
• Going for walks in our neighborhood
• Having energy to shop all day (Ha! I bet my husband doesn’t miss this)
• Doing random fun things with my teenage daughter
• Singing on the worship team at my church
• Everyday tasks around the house

While this is a short list, there are numerous everyday things that I may have taken for granted that I am unable to do with ease anymore. These days simple tasks like sweeping the floor will wipe me out for several hours. I have to plan things out so I have enough energy. Things like going to the doctor, physical therapy & massage therapy all have to be planned out. Planning for me simply put means getting lots of rest the days leading up to any appointment. I will stay in bed and do absolutely nothing so I can make it. Not only that, I now have my husband take me to and from appointments due to my chronic illness. In the past, it would be nothing for me to hop in the car to head to an appointment, now everything is coordinated with my husband’s availability. My how things have changed!

I STILL HAVE HOPE

Although my life is not where it once was and I am unable to do certain things, I still have hope. Hope that no matter the challenge, no matter how I’m feeling, no matter what, God still has my back. My faith in God is what has gotten through some of the darkest moments in my life, when I felt I couldn’t take one more thing. God is not at all surprised by my illness, he knew I would become ill before I was formed in my mother’s womb. He has been here every step of the way guiding me, providing for me and my family and showing me fresh grace and new mercy. Great Is Thy Faithfulness!

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Share this with someone who is chronically ill as it is my life’s goal to Empower | Encourage | Inspire others who are on this journey with me.

XO- Windy

And if not, He is still good! Daniel 3:18

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