For the last 8 years…well really its been 19 years..I have been living with chronic illness. When I sit back and think about it, 19 years is almost half of my life. I’ll let you do the math lol! Whew…that’s a very long time to be living day in and day out being sick. My husband and I recently had a conversation where he made the observation that I he has never known me to be well. He has no idea what I was like before I got sick. That’s because I was sick from being bitten multiple times by a deer tick. but I had not yet been diagnosed. I was dealing with fibromyalgia pain way before the deer tick situation, but I had not been diagnosed yet. Wow, wow, wow! It’s been a long, hard road, but I am still here.
From time to time someone will come up to me and ask me how I’m doing and more importantly how in the world am I handling all of this. For me, the answer is quite simple. My faith in God. Period. Full Stop. In the words of my teenage daughter…No Cap! In all seriousness, if it were not for my faith, I truly don’t know where I would be or how I would be able to handle the rollercoaster that is my life. The multiple doctor visits and waking up each day not really knowing how I am going to feel. It takes a ton for me to show up everyday. For myself and for all of you who love me. I pray everyday, read several devotionals and sing. I love to sing around the house, it helps to lift my spirit. My favorite song to sing is a hymn “ Great Is Thy Faithfulness”! The lyrics are simple, yet powerful and seem to speak to exactly how I’m feeling deep in my soul. The truth is, God is faithful and has been my entire journey. Here are the lyrics to the chorus:
- Great is Thy faithfulness
Great is Thy faithfulness
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me
So while the struggle is real…real hard…I choose to continue to lean on my faith, family & friends to help me continue to push through. There are many days where I don’t get out of bed, and it’s those days that I struggle the most. Anxiety & depression come knocking at my door. In those moments I must remember God’s promises to me. Even though I am really going through it, He is with me and will give me everything I need. He always shows up just when I need him the most. I am honestly ok with the struggle because I am more than a conqueror!
The struggle is real, but so is God!