Hi everyone! Welcome back to my blog. I know, I know…it’s been a very long time since I have written a blog post. My apologies. I have not been feeling much like writing as I have been doing my best to take care of myself which means I have been resting a lot. I have been spending a lot of time at home in bed allowing my body to repair itself. All of my doctors tell me that it’s a good thing I’m doing, I must admit I feel a bit isolated and unproductive. My daughter often laughs and reminds me of the fact that I’m in the same place when she leaves for school and when she comes home from school. I can’t get bad, she’s not lying.
Why do I say “Life Is Hard”? I say that because it is, at least for me it is and millions of others living with at least 1 chronic illness. Every day not knowing how you are going to feel is not fun. It’s hard to make any significant plans for fear of needing to cancel. The endless doctor appointments and trips to the pharmacy to pick up RX is getting a bit old and redundant if I am honest. I’ve been on this journey for more than 20 years now and I feel myself becoming stagnant. I have little interest in doing things outside the home unless my family gets me out. I can’t tell you the last time I hung out with friends or went shopping. For those of you who know me personally, you know that’s something. You see, prior to my illness I worked in the fashion industry and was into all things luxury! Not so much these days. While I still like nice things, I have no energy or desire to spend time shopping for those things anymore. I am no longer keeping up with the latest trends which is so unusual for me. I feel myself changing, but it needed to happen. I was wasting time and money on things that most likely I would never wear. I mean, where I am I going? I have been missing church due to chronic fatigue and pain, not hanging out with friends and not really interested in doing so; therefore I don’t need new clothes, shoes and high end handbags as much as I love them. I had to get real with myself ; where I am in my life and well, I just don’t need those things right now. My sweet husband still surprises me with things I love from time to time but I am no longer on the hunt myself. It’s a new season!
Life is also hard because I am always in and out of doctors offices. As much as I love to rest, some weeks it’s hard to do so because of ALL the appointments. Each week I know for sure I will have physical therapy among other visits sprinkled throughout the quarter to see my Rheumatologist, Cardiologist, Endocrinologist, Gastroenterologist, Neurologist and/or my Pain Management Doctor. That’s a lot! That does not include visits to the lab from blood draws, which I hate because I hate needles. I love all of my doctors. They are kind and caring and are doing their absolute best to take care of me. I am just at the point where I am just tired of being poked on and questioned, etc. Trying to manage symptoms can be trying as there are many. I have learned to manage some and ignore others in order to make it through the day. Some days I sleep so much that I forget to take a dose or just plain miss it because I slept all day. No matter how much rest I get, chronic fatigue cannot be overcome by more rest. It’s a tedious cycle that changes daily, depending on how I am feeling and which symptoms show up that day. Sounds like fun right?
I don’t know where I would be without my faith in Jesus. My faith has gotten me through some pretty tough days. Everyday I spend a lot of time reading my Bible and watching Christian television in order to stay inspired and encouraged. I love talking to God and learning more about Him through His word. My faith journey has always been an important part of my life, even more so now. I know the health journey I have been on has meaning and purpose and that keeps me going. I know this is bigger than me as I am prayerful that others are inspired by how I handle the ebbs and flows of life. I try hard not to complain because I know it could be worse AND I know that God would not have allowed it without giving me what I need to navigate it.
One thing I am excited about that has kept me encouraged is the fact that my husband and I began a ministry of encouraging others and sharing the love of Jesus, called “As It Is In Heaven” which can be found on Instagram (@asitisinheaven8). We share creative content that we pray encourages others and gives hope that comes from Jesus Christ. In a world that is full of hate, greed and division, we wanted to provide a different perspective…nothing glamorous, just Jesus. If you get a moment, please check us out of Instagram of visit our website. We also have some fun merch that we hope you will love as well!
That’s it for today…it feels really good to get back to writing again. I appreciate you for stopping by. Please sure to subscribe, follow, comment and share this blog with others who are suffering from chronic illness as it is my goal to empower, encourage and inspire others who are also on a health journey.
I hope to post again soon.
Until next time,
XO, Windy
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